Locked Apart: Feeling ashamed. by Wesley

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Feeling ashamed. by Wesley

12/22/2014

It is 3 days before Christmas, and without further adieu, I make the following confession:
I am ashamed of myself.

That was an easy one, right?

I got a letter from my lovely step-daughter the other day, offering all manner of encouragement and praise. I have been rolling it around in my head since. She said, "...I couldn't have asked for a better step-dad....". You mean, except for the being in jail part, right? Except for being the disbarred, disgraced, disaster that I am, right? And, that isn't even why I'm ashamed! Seriously. Though that offers me plenty of opportunities for shame, that isn't the worst.

I'm blessed with having the most wonderful sort of woman for a wife. She's the perfect blend of sweet, and "good crazy". The years and choices have taught me that all women are crazy, at least in part, or, they are boring. I will take, (and have taken), crazy, over boring, most of my life. The key is to find, good crazy.

This is a rare commodity.

Finding good crazy is akin to finding a good mechanic. They may screw you, but you trust them to do it for a good price. I have no idea what that means. My wife is not a prostitute. This is a family blog.

The reason I am ashamed is because, lately, I have been so busy feeling sorry for myself, that I have forgotten how my senseless behavior has affected Lesa. Yes, I am in jail, and it sucks. But, whatever the circumstances, I did it. I have nobody, but myself to blame.

Lesa, on the other hand, is blameless. In fact, she told me on several occasions she was worried about me and asked whether she should switch to days to be home with me at night. Translation: switch to days to keep an eye on me, and keep me safe. Despite her concern, she now has to manage 2 houses, 3 dogs, 2 kids in college, 1 in high school, who is as moody as a magic 8 ball, 2 cats, 2 cars, 2 motorcycles, a full-time job, a lawyer for her husband, and her husband, commissary and phone costs, and his ailing mental health.

And she does it all with no "I told you so", or anger, (like I said, good crazy). She focuses so much on me and others, that she often forgets to take care of herself. She does an amazing job, but I am ashamed of her having to do that job. I'm ashamed that I put us and our life at risk- no matter what the circumstances.

Total dick move.

Thanks Obama.

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Helpful hints about MONTGOMERY COUNTY JAIL

NEW UPDATED INFO ON HOW TO LOWER YOUR COST FOR CALLS THROUGH GLOBAL TEL LINK! READ IMPORTANT UPDATE TO FCC LAW ON "BEATING GLOBAL TEL LINK" BLOG
PHONE CALLS: are expensive. 3 options. When they call, you can choose to get a 15 minute call, directly charged to your cell phone provider. it is $10.47, includes taxes and fees. You do not get money back if call is cut short by your or inmate. You are only allowed 9-10 of these per month, $100 max. You can get around this by calling another phone, including on the same cell service. 2. Prepaid. Global Tel Link charges $3.85 for the first minute and $.35 each minute after. You can have up to a 30 minute call, there is also taxes and fees, another 2-3 dollars. When you charge your credit card they add a $6.95 service fee, no matter how much you put on the account. 3) You can pay with a credit card, when they call, $14.99, plus taxes and fees, about another $2, they will save your credit card info. if you okay it and it is easier to accept call next time. 4) Inmate can buy phone cards, $10, and is charged at the $3.85 first minute, $.35 minute after, + taxes and fees. If there is money left on it, you can't use it, so it ends up being wasted. Supposedly you can call and get it refunded, or put onto another card, but how, they have to mail it to you?
You can keep your white underwear you come in with, this means boxers/panties, t-shirts, and socks. You have to wash them by hand, but at least you don't have to wait, or buy them from commissary. Wesley went in wearing three pairs of each, yeah, it is what you are wearing!
Men are housed on the right of main building, there is A,B,C and pods. You can go to main building and find out where they are or look at roster online, or ask inmate, if they call. Women are around on left, I assume they are similarly housed.
Do not come to visitation wearing tanks, shorts or see through, or low cut shirts. You will be turned away. See details in the link above.
No medications are given unless inmate has current prescription.
Visitation is Sat/Sun, with a make-up day on Monday. Hours depend on the first letter of last name. See link.
Mail, see link, it has the address. You must know inmates PIN, and cell location. You can also get that by looking them up on the roster. They may receive books from book company, like Amazon. Also, the newspaper, if it is mailed.
Commissary is twice a week and expensive. You will at least need basic toiletries, nothing is free. There is 3 ways for family/friends to put money on account for inmate. 1.) Kiosk in main building. Service fee is $3, no matter how much you put on. This is the cheapest way. You can charge to a credit card at the same kiosk, but service fee is sliding scale, depending on how much you put on. 2.) Telephone service to put money on, same service fees as the credit card. 3.) Online. You must know inmate PIN number. You can get this by going onto Montgomery County Jail roster, look them up by their name, their ID number is there. You can also call the office, and they will tell you.
It is cold. If you know you are going in, dress warm, til you get your prison stripes, also wear undershirts.