"Pillars" in jail. by Wesley

1-14-15

When I moved into this pod I was informed that I was among the pillars of the Montgomery County jail.  Men who have spent enough time in the jail that they get a modicum of special treatment when they return.  They are people who are addressed by their first names by the guards.  They choose where they will be housed.

This Pod is for working trustees and the pillars.  We go to work every morning and the pillars work out and play poker.  I never thought this kind of favoritism took place on this scale.  I honestly never even considered that guards would grow friendly with repeat visitors, but I guess that's a very naive view.

But today, I was treated to real royalty.  His return has been whispered about for days:  Parker.

I don't even know if that's his first name, or his last name.  Perhaps he has a one name sobriquet like Cher, Modonna, or Pele'.  Parker, the shoe shine savant.

His arrival was heralded in silent and stark terms.  There is a dry erase board with our names, job assignments and bunks.  The guy who was the "boot black" on our shift had those words erased.  Then "Parker...boot black" on our shift was added.  A murmur grew in the day room.

Then, the door opened and a diminutive black man came in.  He was greeted and hugged by his fellow pillars.  "Cowboy" a legendary white supremacist and alleged meth dealer approached Parker and welcomed him home.

A few minutes later, the doors opened again and a cute, young female guard brought in a mattress and carried it to Parker's bunk.  I mention this for 2 reasons: first, guards carry nothing for inmates.  If my entrails were dragging the floor and the guards were escorting me to medical, I would be carrying my own entrails.  Second, from across the room we could all see that this was a very special mattress.  Twice the thickness of any other mattress, it exuded softness.  The cover was stretched to it's limits by soft stuffing.  We all salivated as we watched that mattress make its way to his bunk.  I approached it later.  I felt the luxury and was overcome with envy.  My mattress is almost as thick as a waffle and this guy's sleeping on a Serta.  That is my mattress.

You see, I was supposed to take over as the shoeshine guy.  Last week, the regular shoeshine guy asked me to shine a pair of boots.  I spent 9 years in the Navy.  I can shine a pair of boots.  When the dust settled, the boots were being passed around by the guards.  They marveled at the spit shine.  They called over another Pillar.  A old timer pillar and an old timer guard huddled around the boots.  The pronounced them the best shined boots the Montgomery County jail had ever seen.  They proclaimed me a legend.  Even the old crazy man locked in "24" yelled through his vent that "Those boots are very shiny!" (He also says I look 65 years old, so some comments are suspect).

But I was Thwarted!  I was Dauphine', the heir apparent, but the then shoeshine guy forbade me to shine boots after that, because he was humiliated by all the accolades the one pair of boots I shined received.

I was a one hit wonder.  I was "My Sharona".  My talent and my dreams were dashed.  I seethed as I watched the marginal talent of the shoeshine guy on display while I wasted my talents sweeping floors and feeding crazy people.

Parker's return makes it all moot.  He's a rock star.  I'm a frustrated artist.  he's a Pillar.  I'm,  at best, an area rug.  Maybe a back splash.  But dammit, if shoe shine passion was the measuring stick, if artistry and not familiarity was the barometer, that pretty little guard would have carried in my double thick mattress.