Feeling cut out of "our story". by Wesley

1-11-15

I used to star in the story of my life.  I had a central focal character.  I planned events, had adventures, boy, could I tell a story.  I suppose my story and the stories of everyone close to me overlap too much for my story to stand alone, unless I'm Gilligan and the Skipper and everyone else drowned.  And the Globetrotters never made it to the island....don't get me started.

But if it is more our story, then my story, then I'm just a supporting character.  I would like to maintain a very important role in our story, but I guess I must, since this is my part of our story.  But even now, I feel like my role in the story is being marginalized.  I don't feel like I have joined into an "our story" with anyone in the Montgomery County dungeon.  We all share space and meals, but unless we knew each other outside, we do have an interesting story. Let me explain.

I have determined 2 things while here: 63.5% of the time when I try to get to know someone's story, I regret it.  Earlier tonight, I queried a young man I work with, about a hour later the story boiled down to his sister-in-law yelled at him.  I will never get that hour back.

The second thing I learned here is that it is fun to make up statistics.

Oh, and jail sucks AND I miss my wife.

Back to our story.  I still like to believe that I'm part of Lesa's story and all the stories of my friends and family are still "our story".  But they aren't.  I'm no longer part of the story.  I listen to plans and hear about the jokes and laughs and how things went and boy, we wish you were there, but I am not a part of the story.

Life goes on, and I am gone.  And that is the most painful thing of all.  Of course, there is no one, but me, to blame.  It's natural.

But it's a bit weird to hear about the story I was once a major part of, like someone is describing a John Grisham novel I never read:  All the characters seem familiar, and the plots seem likely and expected, but I haven't exactly read it.

Now, Jessica is getting married, and I will miss another major life event....Lesa will go alone...and the story will go on without me.  I feel like I have been written out of the story.

Sorry Lesa, don't replace me with Dick Sargant! or was that Dick York?