9/29/2014
I have to confess that after enjoying these generous accommodations for two months I have reached one staggering conclusion: If I hear the word "nigga" again I will die.
That may sound like a hyperbole, but it is not. I have a standard issue human brain and there is limited storage space for words that begin with "N-I-" It is close to full after two months.
I read a book that described someone's lack of generosity as "niggardly" and my headache intensified. The Game of Thrones series has so many references to the "night's watch" that my left ear is hemorrhaging. I need a bread. That word should be the new "N" word- never to be spoken.
These symptoms may be a mirage and I may just kill myself. I have bought ear plugs. I put them in, covered my ears, and buried my head under a blanket. It's still there. I can't escape. Constantly peppering people's language.
Speaking of religion, I'm sure you're familiar with the expression "There are no atheists in fox holes." That should be extended to jails. Present company excluded, the most vile actor's become devout once they find themselves in the human zoo.
Yesterday, I heard the following statement, "If I beat a murder case.......that's God." There is so much that is just wrong about this statement that I'm left without much to say.
It shouldn't be surprising that people find religion in jail. I met Jesus' last week! In fact, I have met three guys named Jesus' in the last 2 months. I discussed my new "N" word overload with Jesus' and he agreed. I think he agreed, but he doesn't speak English and my college Spanish is fading, much to my shame.
I also heard a discussion about a popular class people take in here. At least 9 of the 24 people in here trudge off twice weekly to hear the wisdom of a Montgomery County paid counselor.
Sunday, my neighbor was sharing the wisdom he learned. Addiction he said, was likely caused by unresolved demonic possession of one of your ancestors. I added the "unresolved" and "ancestors" (he said, "grandad." I didn't think it was intended to be limited to that degree of consanguinity).
I had to remove my ear plugs and ensure that I'd heard what I thought I'd heard. I was not mistaken.
On a totally unrelated note, a guy in here has been heard telling people he has Tourette's syndrome just so that he can talk dirty to himself in the shower. He fears being judged harshly. Okay, that last one is just me, trying to be funny.
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