It has been awhile since a post. I have a couple from Wesley. I have been struggling with depression, overwhelming feelings, and frankly, now that my kids, at my invitation, are reading this, I have been hesitant to write and let them know the daily rollercoaster of my life. My daughter Jessica is getting married in Vegas in 9 days. I have struggled with the finances, struggled with the housework, work has been kicking my ass, and my back, has been having very scary shooting pains, making me jump, fearing the old horrible pain. I am blessed, the kids have taken most of the financial burden of the trip off of me, and I was in a panic over so many things, overwhelmed that I could not contribute. I wanted to make her veil, didn't make the cut, by my own judgment. She is moving to Maryland, correction, she has moved to Maryland. It stirs a lot of emotions too. I am happy, so very, very happy for her. She has struggled with life, and has worked hard to get on track and I am so very proud of her journey to adulthood.
The day I told Wesley about the wedding, he suggested, strongly, that I move on without him. He told me I should divorce him, he was worthless, and I deserved better. He refused to look me in the eye. It was a hard visitation. He calmed down, but their has been an edge to him. He is scared that I will meet someone in Vegas. His words, "sometimes what happens in Vegas, does not stay in Vegas." It is the insecurity a man incarcerated, throw in a Vegas vacation, my first time, and he is worried. I have reassured him. He has talked me through difficult moments, helped me figure out wardrobe malfunctions. He has tried not to focus on it, and that has been helpful.
We have many things going on. We hired a new attorney. Attorney #2, and a friend, seemed to have a lot going on, and after Wesley setting a deadline of some sort of progression toward even having an attorney on record, we send her a note thanking her and hired one we had interviewed this summer. After 1 week, he was granted the substitution, without a hearing, and has started pleading deals. And while we both are extremely anxious about what may happen, we are extremely pleased that talks have started and are ready to move on.
I am ready for my life to calm down, I am ready for Wesley to be on to whatever Harris County and Wesley can agree to for punishment, the light at the end of the tunnel is a game changer in the life of an inmate, and their loved ones waiting for them on the outside. No one understands how our life is on hold, how it is limited by money for the phones, visitation rules, distance. It is part of the punishment, I get it, but being in jail for six months without any word or change of situation is maddening, and not really all that unusual. I am praying for things to move quickly now that negotiations have started, you can be praying too.
Hello Lesa, I've found your blog really interesting. My name's Shayna and I work for a production company called Nerd TV. We're based in London and we make documentaries. I'd love to be able to talk to you about what your experiences and learn more about yourself and Wesley. If you'd would be willing to chat to me could you let me know the best way to get in touch? My email is shayna@nerdtv.co.uk
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